


Music Mends Broken Hearts

by thealphagate_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, Drama, First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-12
Updated: 2006-03-12
Packaged: 2019-02-02 06:08:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12721095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thealphagate_archivist/pseuds/thealphagate_archivist
Summary: The evils of alcohol and miscommunication.





	Music Mends Broken Hearts

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the archivists: this story was originally archived at [The Alpha Gate](https://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Alpha_Gate), a Stargate SG-1 archive, which began migration to the AO3 in 2017 when its hosting software, eFiction, was no longer receiving support. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are this creator and it hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Alpha Gate collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/thealphagate).

The man steps back out of his truck, and goes back in to retrieve his sunglasses and shut out the lights..

He sees the figure on the edge of the stage and waits behind the flats.

The figure stands up and walks to the edge of the stage. His voice testing the resonance of the hall, he opens his mouth and those perfect lips, mouth, and tongue dance in such a way as to make love to the song itself.

The words that are sung and the meanings of them cast a dark cloud about the stage and the singer. His loneliness is plain to see. "Why can't you accept us for what it could be? I love..." he hesitates, "I loved you. Why couldn't that be enough?"

"Because I didn't deserve that love."

The figure turns around and sees the man at the back of the stage.

"What are you doing here?"

The man points at the glasses in the other's hands.

"Oh."

"Why don't you let me take the blame for what happened the other night."

The figure tenses. Holding back. In anger or fear? "Because, Jack, I have been that 'way' for a long time."

The man contorts his face in confusion. "Way? You said that before? What the hell do you mean by it?"

###########################  
Daniel's POV  
###########################

I stare at him, "You want me to spell it out for you? Fine. G-A-Y- Gay. Bi-sexual. Homosexual. Fag. Queer. Queen. And any other label you wish to put on me, on us and on what we did."

"Oh, and what the hell does that have to do with what I did to you..."

Now it's my turn to be confused. "Why, that has everything to do with our little tryst and with your freak-out the next morning. If you're not aware - me, a guy, and you, a guy, doing anything remotely sexual would account for us being any or all of those bad labels I mentioned a mere few seconds ago."

"Tryst!!! Goddamn Tryst!!! Daniel, I'm sorry, I may not seem that bright but don't insult me like this. I may not remember a lot about the other night, but I remember what I did to you." He turns, "I threw you on the couch and I ripped your clothes off. Where I come from that's fucking RAPE--- NOT a `TRYST'." Jack walks away and speaks again in a softer voice, "I just wanted you so badly. I couldn't control myself. I was drunk and you couldn't stop me. I was the one that forced you and I caused all that blood..."

"Just hold on a Goddamn sec there... What the hell are you talking about."

"Daniel, don't go playing all self sacrificing on me here. It's hard enough living with what I did to you, please don't *pretend* I didn't hurt you... that just makes it worse."

"Just what do you think you did to hurt me!" I'm confused as hell, but as God as my witness I will figure out what's going on here. "What ??BLOOD?? are you speaking of?"

"Don't give me that! I hurt you so bad you had to go to the doctor." Jack shoots me an icy stare. Then he relents and turns his head almost as if he's hanging it down in defeat. "Besides I was the one that washed the sheets."

I stare blankly. Jack has never before admitted defeat like this to my knowledge. But by God, does he have that night's events wrong. I stare at him in shock as my mind processes what he just told me. He thinks he took advantage of me... He thinks he hurt me and that's what been eating him up... He was trying to protect me from the realization... He doesn't hate the fact he touched me... He isn't homophobic... He wanted me... He wanted ME. God, I'm -- we're pathetic. "Fuuuuck," I say as I sit down on the piano bench, and drop my head into my hands.

I shake with relief born laughter. He cleaned up the room and took all the evidence away because he didn't want me reminded of the past night's events, not because he couldn't deal with them. I smile and shake my head. God, I should have known better. Jack is still the same man I came to love, not the bastard I recently took him for. Protector to the end huh, Jack? Well, you know what? I don't need to be protected from you, Jack.

He walks over and sits next to me, still afraid to touch me but trying to comfort me with his presence. "I'm sorry, Daniel. You have to believe that I never intended to hurt you. You will never know how much I wish I could take back that night, I... I've just... I just have been bottling up my feelings up for so long that... With even the hint that you loved me the way I.... I... God, I'm sorry."

Did he? Did he just say? I still my heart and look up into his face. He's hesitating. He doesn't realize he's welcome to touch. So it's my turn... I'm still afraid of him cutting me down if I go out on a limb. Now I know he won't... but I'm afraid none the less, I remember how it felt to love and be loved in return. It was a gift before, I didn't ask for it. But this time it's worth the risk. I already know... I just have to prove it.

He tips his face down to hide his tears of shame. I have to tell him, I have to tell him all of it. Why is this so hard for me, I'm a linguist for Christ's sake, why is it so hard to tell him what happened and how I feel?

#############################  
Jack's POV  
#############################

"I was the one that washed the sheets."

"Fuuuuck," he says as he sits down on the piano bench, and drops his head into his hands.

He realizes I know... `Yeah, not too fast there. There ain't no way you're going to trick me, Daniel.'

He's shaking and crying. Oh, God do I want to go over and ease his pain. What I wouldn't give to be worthy of touching him again. He needs someone. That someone used to be me. Not only did I take away ever having a chance to be more than a friend to him. I took away his best friend, the one he turned to when times got rough. The only one he's ever opened up to. I'm one piece of fucking shit. He needs me. I should be there for him. Goddamnit... I've never had a problem comforting him before. I could always tell what he needed, from a touch on the shoulder, to a pat on the back, to a back crushing hug. I never was worried if he wanted my presence. He always seemed to drink up my presence and relax when I was near... Even now, I get the feeling he wants me near, his eyes are pleading me to hold him. I don't know what to do. I KNOW what I wanted to do... and what I did to one of... those bastards in Iraq.

If he wants me to leave I'll leave, but he'll have to say the words first, cause his body language is pleading with me to stay. Until then I'll stand beside him. Taking all he can dish out, and letting him come to terms with this however he needs to. I owe him that at least.

I walk over and sit next to him.

"I'm sorry, Daniel. You have to believe that I never intended to hurt you. You will never know how much I wish I could take back that night, I... I've just... I just have been bottling up my feelings up for so long that... With even the hint that you loved me the way I love you. I... God, I'm sorry."

He places his hands on my neck, and presses his forehead against my head. This is new, Daniel doesn't reach out like this, why is he doing it now? "Jack?" he says. "Tell me what you remember?"

"Huh?" His eyes are clouded but dry... He wasn't crying... His voice is light, not scared, or depressed, but actually more like determined and almost amused?

"Tell me what you remember about that night."

"I... You... We... ," God, why is he making me do this?... I rub the back of my head and pull away. "I can't, Daniel."

"Well if you won't tell me, at least listen to me." He's looking into my eyes, if he only knew what he did to me with those eyes. I would walk through Hell for those eyes. Hell, I have walked through Hell for those eyes.

Daniel stands and walks towards the piano, his back is toward me but he's close enough for me to feel the heat coming off his body.

"Ok, this is hard enough, just let me say it, and we can talk afterwards."

"Daniel, you don't have to..." I start to stand.

He turns to look me in the eye and stops me from rising. "Yes I do, please Jack... Just listen."

I nod and he turns back around. If this is what he needs... God it's gonna kill me though.

"Here goes, I guess the best place to start..." he whispers so low I don't think he thinks I heard him.

He clears his throat and begins "After my parents death, I was a lone kid being bounced from foster home to foster home. I never felt like I belonged. Even as a child my ideas and beliefs were way ahead of my peers. I was ostracized from an early age and became used to it. I never had friends that went beyond work or school. Even Sarah and I were school buddies for years before anything happened. And she was the one to pursue it. And you can tell it never amounted to much. I didn't know how to love at that time and she wanted a best friend more than a lover. After her there were others, but Sha're..."

I can hear the pain in his voice and I start to reach out to him again, momentarily forgetting my promise, but stop my self in time.

"Sha're taught me to love. Yes, she was a gift from Kasuf, but had I refused, she would have been publicly scorned. I let her stay with me to avoid the humiliation she would have received, but I refused her service. I didn't know the customs at the time. You see - she chose me. She fought for the right to be with me. She told me later that she wasn't a virgin as virginity wasn't a custom there, and that they only married for love. She knew she loved me at first sight and it was proven that she did by being the victor of the mantaur'ouk. The ceremony wherein the women fight for the right to have the man." He quickly explained.

He's smiling at the memories, God what I wouldn't give to be the one he smiled like that about...

"Jack, she wouldn't come to me since I refused her that first night. She waited for me to come to her. And I did as soon as I figured it out. She let me know what it was like to really be loved. God I was crushed when I lost her, I wanted to die. The possibility of saving her was the only reason I kept going. The only reason I got up was that I couldn't pass up the chance I might be able to save her that day. At least that was until..."

He stalls --- breaking the spell he was weaving with his words.

He clinches his fists forcing himself to go on, "Until I met someone I already knew, a strong person that breached my barriers. Soft touches and gentle words helped me find my place, helped me to love again. My heart was stolen and for the first time I found myself as the pursuer rather than the pursued. I didn't know where to start. My whole life if I wasn't pursued, I left, thinking I wasn't loved. I wouldn't have ever be the instigator because to be the instigator would be like asking to be loved and I wasn't going to belittle my self and ask to be loved."

"Jack," he turns to face me. "I don't know what you think you did to me, and I don't have any idea why you feel you hurt me in any way. All you have ever done was love me, albeit," he tilts his head and smiles that sideways smile that makes me weak at the knees, "you had a strange way of showing it at times. And sometimes I didn't understand why you had to do things, and a few times I hurt myself by thinking you meant something else."

"Daniel, I saw what I did to you..."

"Jack..." he shakes his head. Daniel puts his foot up on the bench I'm sitting on. He takes my hand and places it on his thigh. "This is what you saw. We were both to drunk to do much anything else."

He rubs my hand against, thick cloth??? I look up at him.

He thinks for a second and responds with. "It was the junkyard planet for P4B-453. Sam was looking at a gadget and fell into the refuse molecular rearranger... the `super-duper trash compactor' as you called it. You blew up the power source and saved her."

I paused for a second, and then I remembered, that was a bloody mess. Sam got caught in the machine and got knocked out while trying to get out, Teal'c and I came away with minor cuts and bruises, Daniel... Who was the closest to the machine's power source... was trying to figure out a way to shut it off, if I remember correctly. He moved when I screamed for him to, but wasn't completely around the corner. He ended up with a pretty nasty wound, a bleeder as Janet put it... on his thigh. Right here on his thigh... Blood from his... wound?

"Yeah, well, our little escapade the other night did cause me to rip out a few stitches, but nothing major. I went back to the base and Janet stitched it right back up."

"So, she stitched up... your thigh... God, I thought..." I meet his eyes. "So, I didn't... "

"Jack, I can take care of myself. I'm not a small helpless little boy, just like you are not lacking in the intelligence dept. Those are just the little charades we play to get other to underestimate us. If you had done anything, and I mean ANYTHING I didn't want you to, you would have come away with a few bumps and bruises yourself. But for the record, no," He reached up and touched my hair, "we didn't."

"Oh God," I drop my head into my hands and sigh with relief. I didn't hurt Daniel... I didn't take advantage of him. And although I'll still never forgive myself for allowing anything to go that far while we were both drunk, he accepted my advances and returned them. But if he wanted me as well, why did act how he did? Why did he kick me out of his house that morning, why did he leave the mess hall as soon as I walked in? I look up into his smiling face.

"Daniel, if you wanted this, and could have stopped me, why have you been acting so strange, lately? It appears as if you're always avoiding me."

"It probably appears that way cause I have been avoiding you, and I have felt very awkward in your presence."

"Why?" I raise my head from my hands and look him in the face.

He blushes as he puts his foot down and sits by my side, so close that to get any closer he would have to sit on my lap. "Well, let's play a little game of what if..."

"Shoulda woulda coulda? What for?" I respond.

He lays his hand on my lap and talks to my shoulder, "Jack, what would you have thought in this situation.

-I came over to your house when we you were a little tipsy. After a half hour of talking and flirting you finally get me in your bed. We have a wonderful time, or so you think. And then in the morning, I'm reclusive. I won't even talk about what we did. I tell you what I did was against the military rules and I should be thrown in jail for it. I avoid you at all cost myself and threaten to retire from SG-1."

My eyes go wide, I would have thought... "You couldn't have possibly thought that I am... That I didn't want... Oh, Daniel, I'm so..." I throw my arms around him and crush him to my chest in a fierce hug.

"It's OK Jack..." he manages to get out of his compressed lungs. "I would like to state for the record that we are the two most pathetic people on this planet."

I laugh.

So does he. I let him go and he takes my hand. Daniel isn't ever this touch-ing... This isn't normal for him and I love the fact he wants to touch me. I cherish this small amount of what he's able to give me so very, very much.

We both just sit there looking at our hands, both of us afraid to move, afraid this is just a dream and if we do anything, we'll wake up.

He moves first, it looks like he's adjusting his injured leg. I can't believe I forgot about that. Janet almost had my balls in a sling over that. People call me overprotective but she takes the cake. He bites his lower lip in that way that has always caused my toes to curl. Then he says with a little sexy overtone, "So... You want to come by my place for a drink?"

He's nervous, but certain. "I like the when and where, but I don't ever want to see Jose Cuervo again for the rest of my life. Let's go for that black stuff you drink."

"I give you two weeks, but that's fine by me, I just bought a family size of one of Starbucks Special Blends. I'm going to need a lot of help in the morning to even make a dent in it," he laughs... inside and out, his eyes are positively glowing. My heart is beating fast and my hands sweating. God, I'm no school kid, but what he does to me. After forty-some fucking years and um... a lot of different partners... you'd think I couldn't get this nervous over sex...

Daniel stands, puts on my sunglasses, and shoots me a luscious smile... And then He says in that VERY playful and charming way of his, "So, mister Colonel sir." He walks up to me, and adjusts the collar of my jacket making sure to touch my neck and that place just below my ear in a way that causes goose bump down the entire right side of my body. "My ride kinda left without me. I was wondering if you would be kind enough to give me a lift home?"

He pulls his fingers away letting them burn a trail along my jaw. I let the slight pressure of his fingers pull me to my feet. His hands go down and he sticks the tips of his fingers into my pockets and pulls me close enough to feel the heat coming off his body.

But you know what... I guess I'm not getting all this worked up over "just" sex. It's never been "just" anything when Daniel's concerned. With Daniel it's all or nothing, enemies, friends, lovers...

God, "lovers", that has a nice ring to it...

Wait a sec... He has my keys... He muttering something about leaving me... He's walking towards the door, waving that ass of his... I smile and shake my head. That's the man I fell in love with, and with God as my witness, I'm not gonna let him get away this time... I double-time it to catch him before he reaches the door. I can play this game of his, too. I lay my hand on his back to stop him. "Well," I cock my head to the side as if I have to think about it. "I guess I'll give you a ride," In a secret covert operation I regain the possession of the stolen keys. "But you'll have to pay the price just like everybody else..."

He stops and turns to me brushing his good thigh against mine, "Oh, really," he says pulling my glasses off his face enough to look over the brim. He's close enough for me to feel his breath on my check. "And how much is that?"

"Just this," I say as pull him into a nice, long, slow kiss...


End file.
